Training and Dogs | Jim Steel

by Jim Steel | January 01, 2025

I was proud of myself yesterday. I was proud of myself for training
when I didn’t want to. I was showing tremendous weakness and I was
full of excuses.

My first excuse was
that it’s hunting season. It’s goose season here and it’s my
favorite thing to do in the world. Everything gets put on hold during
this time, much to my wife’s chagrin. I have done it every year for
33 years. It’s also what my Labradors have always been trained for:
retrieving geese. I train them all year for these weeks of the
season. I hunt my friend’s farm down in Maryland, about a 45 minute
trip from the house. In order to get down there in time to put out
the decoys and get all set up, I usually get up between 4:30 and 5
AM. I get home after 12 PM, sometimes later if I stop at Wesley’s
Bar and Grill for a beer. So I was sleepy and I wanted to take a nap.

But although I was
sleepy, I knew that I was not going to be able to take a nap. Because
I have a new Labrador puppy, Tank. Tank comes from hunting Lab stock.
These dogs aren’t those broader-looking Labs like you see in dog
shows. These dogs are lean and fast, and beyond hyper. You will get
tired of throwing the retrieving bumper before they get tired of
retrieving it.

I really don’t know
why I got a puppy. I already have a Labrador, Rebel. He’s Tank’s
uncle, by the way. I realized the time commitment that a puppy takes
before I went and picked him up. It made me a little queasy just
thinking about it. I have had many puppies, all hunting Labs. I knew
that it was going to be awful. Up three times a night because he has
a tiny bladder. I hate when he drinks water. I ask him, “Haven’t
you had enough water?”

I sleep on the couch
downstairs next to his crate and when he wakes up, I put on my jacket
and go outside. I already sleep in sweatpants and have my shoes set
and ready for when I have to go out with him. But the problem is that
I’ve had this damn dog for over a month and he’s still not house
trained. We are still going outside at 1:30 and 4:30 AM to use the
bathroom and he still has accidents in the house. My boy Labs seem to
take forever to mature, like they are in perpetual adolescence. The
girl Labs that I have had seem to catch on faster, although they can
get a little bitchy at times. The boys like to fool around and be
babied and the girls are all business.

I knew as soon as I got
home from hunting that it was Tank Tank Tank all the livelong day.
Damn, Tank has me sleep deprived along with the hunting. Yes, I know
I do all of this to myself. I always do and I never learn. But I was
still using all of it as an excuse not to train.

And my back or hip or
knee or maybe all three are all screwed up. One day, I went to the
gym and did some leg presses which I never do, but I got it in my
head that I would do some leg presses for some reason, and I screwed
up my lower left side of my body, maybe sciatica from a disc, maybe
groin, but it ain’t pleasant. So I have been limited in doing
anything remotely manly, which pisses me off. I’ve been going to
the gym and doing these pressing and pulling machines and supported
rows and push ups, and curls and pushdowns. And I walk with the sled
backwards in my yard once a week. So honestly, doing this type of
training makes me not want to go to the gym. I’d rather sit in the
woods and drink beer and think of squat sessions gone by. Freaking
pushdowns is the highlight of my training session. How far I have
fallen. Just another excuse ringing in my head.

And I was also thinking
that I had trained a lot lately and a day off wouldn’t be a big
deal. I don’t really have a set program anymore. I train for a few
days in a row and then I’ll take a day off, usually on a Saturday.
Problem was that I had just taken a day off a few days ago. I knew I
should do something, training-wise. My workouts don’t take much out
of me. I recover from all that soft training rather quickly. So I
really didn’t need a day off, I was just making another excuse.

I got it in my mind
that I should do the sled workout. I hadn’t done my backwards sled
walking in a while, which I do in my backyard. Since I perform it in
my backyard, I didn’t even have to drive the 30 minutes to the gym,
I just had to walk down my back step, go under the deck, remove the
tarp from my always-loaded sled with belt and chain attached, walk
out into the yard and walk with the sled. I actually said to myself
out loud, “Get up, now!” and I hopped up off of the couch, and
the dogs and I went out back. I uncovered the sled and got to work.

Five-year-old Rebel
stood on the deck and watched while I walked and Tank ran circles
around me with a stick in his mouth. Rebel likes to keep his distance
from Tank, who tries to bite Rebel’s testicles as they swing while
he runs. Tank runs with his mouth open, a few inches from Rebel’s
swinging testicles, and Rebel runs away for the preservation of his
balls. I walk with the sled around 30 yards and then I drop down and
do 20 pushups, then I stand up and start walking again. I do 10 total
trips and 200 total pushups and I’m sweating and breathing hard,
and I felt great.

I was glad that I had
done it. I guess that I have never regretted doing a training
session, I am always thankful that I got it done. The best part was
after my shower, Tank was so tired from all the running around that I
was able to take my nap after all.

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